It's the I Don't Know What To Do With My Life episode!
When I was 12 years old, I was going to be a writer, damnit! I was going to follow my passion, and create pieces of literature and be fucking famous, bitches. Yeah.
When I was 14, I was going to be a librarian, damnit! Writing wasn't going to make me any real money, and hell, do I like books! What better way to spend my life than working around books and making a ton of money (apparently librarians get paid well?). Yeah.
When I was 17, I was (maybe) going to be a writer again, damnit! By the sounds of it, librarian classes (there are actually classes for people who want to be librarians!) are boring as HELL, and who wants that? NO ONE. So fuck it, I'm going to do what I want! Yeah.
When I was 18, I was going to be a high school English teacher, damnit! I mean, what else can you really do with English, besides teach? I could inspire kids, like my high school English teacher inspired me! Yeah.
I'm going to be 20 in 5 months, and my life has no direction. Damnit.
Arrrrgh fuck! What am I supposed to do? I have no career decided upon! I was briefly considering just going to culinary school and becoming a chef of some sort, but I'm really not into the idea of doing something you don't really love.
But what do I love doing?!
I was discussing this with Max last night. He said "Well, what do you like?"
I like, talking, and being in charge, and entertaining people. What can you do with all that? Eventually, we came back to "If you like entertaining people, why don't you stick with writing?"
Because I haven't written anything good in so long, that's why.
I would love to write for the rest of my life. But write what? Plays? Television? Movies? Books? Poetry? Max said I'd have to move if I wanted to write for, say, TV or the movies. I don't want to move though.
I know I just want to do something that entertains people, but I don't know what that might be, yet. Maybe it is writing. I mean, if you've loved something since you were 12, that might be a good indicator that it's something you'd be happy doing.
I need answers! And a good career counselor!
PS. How come no one ever invites me to their birthdays?