Sunday, May 29, 2011

Ultimately Pointless Professions and Younger You

I'm struggling a little bit with my decision to become a graphic novelist. On one hand, I really feel like it's what I'm meant to be, and I'm sure it will make me happy. I've been drawing comics and cartoons since I was a little kid, and it perfectly combines me love if writing and storytelling with my love of doodling.

On the other hand, however, it bother's me that this job doesn't really contribute to society in anyway. Yes yes, I hear you, you art nerds, complaining about the importance of art. And while I agree with you, I'm just having a problem justifying my possible career. It doesn't really help in anyway. Don't worry, this isn't enough to sway me from making comics. It IS what I want to do. I just wish it wasn't so ultimately pointless.

So about two days ago, my Facebook status said "If your 10 year old self would think that your present self is cool, then you're doing alright." I wholly agree with this. If your 10 year old self (or any younger age) would look at the person you are now and think "Wow. She's cool." I believe that your life is going okay. Personally, 10 year old Lisa would totally think that 20 year old Lisa was cool for a number of reasons.

1. Boyfriend
2. Multiple piercings, and a nose piercing to boot
3. Dyed my hair a bunch
4. Have a tattoo
5. Went to college
6. Seen Europe
7. Have a laptop, cellphone, Xbox
8. Have a dog and two cats (Give me a break, 10 year old Lisa was a simple gal)

I could go on, but it's highly likely that you'll just lose interest.

So, what about you? Would younger you be proud? How come? If you can meet the approval of younger you, then you've got a pretty darned good life.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Turn Up The Love

Today I asked myself what I want most in life.

I want to save somebody.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

New Books and Wainy Days

So I took the trouble to actually go to the library the other day and sign up for a library card. It's been years since I had one. In high school, before I had the money to go and buy books, I would frequently go to the library, take out 5 books and read them all in two and a half weeks. I have to say, those were good times. I was just constantly reading new things, and spending time in a peaceful, quiet environment. And then the debt started wracking up.

I was notoriously bad at returning library books. It's not that I was taking forever to read them. I was simply too lazy to walk to the library and stick them in the return slot, or too forgetful to put them in my bag. There was a point where I had a $30 fine attached to my name, and I just stopped going to the library. No way did I have $30 as a teenager to pay off library fines. There were other instances where the late fees would rack up and my mum would mercifully pay them off for me. But that can only happen so many times before a mum gets fed up. At the time of the $30 fine I was about 16 or 17, and had been lamenting the loss of my library privileges. Max took it into his kind little heart to pay them off for me. After which I accumulated about $40 in late fees. Needless to say, I haven't been to the library in a long time.

But now I have a chance to start over. I'm in a different city, where the name "Lisa Recchia" is yet unknown to the libraries of Burnaby. So I now have in my possession my first library card in 3 years. And what do I go out and do? Buy two brand new books from Chapters, duh.

Honestly, I just want to punch myself sometimes. I don't have very much money now, and two very important things to be saving up for (school, and Amanda's wedding). To be fair, though, they're two really interesting books. One of them I know is going to be good, because it's by one of my most favourite authors of all time, Christopher Moore. The other one is a book that I found in the Science section of the store, called The 'God' Part of the Brain: A Scientific Interpretation of Human Spirituality and God. How could I NOT buy this book, am I right? Pretty much a paperback copy of some of my thoughts. I'll let you know how it is.

Okay, I've got to tell you about one of the best webseries out there, because I just rediscovered it after stumbling upon it a few years ago. It's called Wainy Days, and it is wildly hilarious. Now, if you can't laugh at smut, then I recommend that you not click that link up there. But if you do have a perverse sense of humour, please, do yourself a favour. One of the funniest things about this show, other than everything, are the famous people who often guest star. The first time I started watching Wainy Days, I didn't notice this at all. But people like Elizabeth Banks, Paul Rudd and Jonah Hill have appeared in episodes. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Pick Up The Pieces And Go Home

I came to a sad realization yesterday. I go through life thinking that nobody likes me.

I'm not throwing out a sob story to make you all feel sorry for me. This just genuinely surprised me when I realized it. I was on the bus, looking out the window, trying to figure out what I was going to do with my free days that were coming up. Recently, I've been spending most of them alone, because I am literally too shy to ask my friends to hang out with me. It's not really that terrible, hanging out alone, but it does get boring. So I was thinking about this, and I wondered if I should ask some of my friends from work to hang out with me. We're all super friendly with each other, and a few of them have even said that we should hang out from time to time. And I thought about texting one of them and asking if she was free on Wednesday, when I stopped myself, because I thought "Oh, but I bet she'll say no. I don't think she really likes me anyway." And that's when it hit me. I think that everybody doesn't like me.

Isn't that fucked up? Here's the kicker: I've thought this about all of you. Every single person that I know, I have thought this about (with the exception of my mum, dad, brother and sister). Friends that I've known for years. My bosses. Yes, I have thought this about Max. I can hear you thinking "No, I bet she never thought that about me." I'm sorry, but you're wrong. The slightest thing can set it off. Maybe I said hi, and you didn't say back. Maybe you're only giving me one word answers. Don't worry. I don't harbour any ill-feelings towards anyone. Now, mind you, it's not every day. I don't spend every waking moment walking around, assuming that everyone I know doesn't like me. From time to time, though, it happens. And it sucks, to be honest. Point is, I need to get some kind of self confidence. Maybe call my friends and ask them to go out and... do... something? I don't know. But this will be my challenge for the summer. Stop being a loser.

Hey, that was depressing! Here's a cool picture!

... I need a hobby.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Philosophy and Bibian Blue

I feel better today, thank you. It comes and goes in waves.

I've been kind of inspired to take a philosophy class. I don't know when this will actually happen, but now I'd really like to. People have told me over and over again that I should be in philosophy classes, since I do enjoy rousing discussions about everything from life and death, love, faith and etc. I've stubbornly avoided taking them though, because as much as I love listening to intelligent conversations and being part of them, I extremely detest listening to idiots talk, and I would bet my life that more than a few idiots take philosophy classes for easy credits. I would have to kill these morons, unfortunately. Also, another reason I avoided classes in philosophy is that, while I have lots of good ideas I'd love to discuss, I tend to freeze-up when pressed to explain my views. I don't know why this happens. I lose my grip on words and just babble for awhile before the collective stares of others shuts me up.

So those are my silly reasons for not taking part in a class that I'm pretty sure I would enjoy. A little childish, yes, but there's always time to correct childish errors. What brought this train of thought on, actually, was a note that I wrote almost 2 months ago, about how we've defeated true death. I know I've blogged about this before as well, but here is my more recent endeavor into the thought. What made me happiest about this were the comments I received. The very best thing, though, is that I inspired someone else to continue writing. "No, thank you for inspiring me to write again. There's something I've been meaning to put to words for quite some time now, but I was never able to get it done. Now, I think I have a new project. Thanks."

That right there is the reason I keep writing at all. It's the reason I put up post after post. I keep hoping that someone out there will read my ideas, and in turn be inspired to write down their ideas, and so on and so forth.

Tonight I have to share an awesome discovery with you. I w
as bored and on Cracked, so then I googled Michael Swaim, which lead me to an interview he did for a magazine called Auxiliary (which was a great discovery on it's own). With nothing but time to kill, I began browsing their website, quickly becoming impressed. I was looking through the fashion section when I stumbled upon a true gem.

Bibian Blue is an amazing fashion line created by a woman named Bibiana. I am just so blown away by how amazing all her creations are, and by god, do I want some. Not to sound like one of those snooty fashion school kids, but her stuff is really crossing the line between fashion and art. It's like something a macabre Victorian goddess would wear. Certainly these aren't outfits for every day. These are the treasures you hang in your closet, and pull out for those special evenings where the air feels charged and the shadows are comfortable. Some of these outfits are suited to be worn to parties in ancient castles, where the muted light glances off the dust motes, while others should only be donned midnight summer rendezvous in English forests. Revelers would lounge at the bases of centuries old trees, with lanterns hanging from twisted limbs and everyone would feast on ripe plums and cool spring water.

Clearly, I'm enchanted. Her website shows off a lot of pictures, but you can find some more by just googling 'bibian blue'. I'll end this blog with my favourite one. Have a good night, all.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

We're Newborn Baby Birds But We Have Big Dreams

I'm miserable all the time, and I don't know why.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Craftiness and Craziness

I have a growing list of crafty things that I need to accomplish. It's good in a way, because this way I'll have something to keep me occupied on my free days, but it's also bad because deep in my heart I know I'll never get everything done.

1. Folding Screen Project

My dad found an old folding screen, which looks pretty much like this, but black. It's very cool, but the only problem is that it's missing the fabric part of it. So my plan is to head on downtown to Dressew and find myself some nifty fabric to stretch across it and make it beautiful. I was thinking something silky with a lot of embroidery on it, but with a vintage feel to it, since that's the look that I'm going for with my room.

2. Picture Frames

I found a neat picture of a wall that had at least 10 photographs in mismatched frames on it, and I thought it looked really cool. I just so happen to have a number of really cool pictures that deserve to be up on a wall laying around, and pictures frames are cheap at places like Value Village and Salvation Army stores. Really, though, this is just an easy way for me to build up that charmingly cluttered look that I'm so in love with.

3. Paint My Shoes

By an incredible stroke of luck, I have the dress that I'm going to wear to Amanda's wedding. It's a dress that I already own which was purchased at least two years ago, and it's the perfect colour to boot. Now all I need to do is get a great pair of shoes to go with it. I know though, that I'll never be able to find anything close to what I want, mostly because I have huge feet, but also because I'm going for a particular style. So I've decided to buy a pair of plain flats and paint them myself! I'm going to spray paint them gold, and then paint paisley designs on them in the same blue. They're going to be so freaking rad, man.

You know, there were more things that I was supposed to post about being crafty, but I just plain can't remember anymore. I've had a really weird day today. I think it may be because the weather was soooo awful, but I really felt kind of blah and miserable all day. I'm feeling it even more as it gets later. It's this restless, gloomy feeling. I don't know what to do with myself. No one is online to talk to, all my webcomics have been read, and all that lies ahead is possibly cleaning my room, or sleep. I need to start getting out of my house more, because being cooped up in here all the time is making me go crazy. Is this what loneliness feels like? Am I lonely?

I think I just need to do something fun. Go out on a nice date with Max. Hang out with my friends. Chiara has a party coming up that I'm going to go to. I think I really need the socialization. Maybe I'll invite Max out to a movie with me soon. The Dolphin Theatre up the street is so freaking cheap, it would be a crime if we didn't go there. A movie, and a walk maybe. And dinner.