Tuesday, July 19, 2011

You Only Live Once

At work the other day, I was talking to my friend, Zaffy, and she mentioned that she wanted a tattoo in memory of her grandmother who passed away recently. I waited until all the customers at my till were gone, and then I asked her "So... how are you doing with that?" I used to really shy away from talking about this sort of stuff with people, because it was bound to make all parties involved overly emotional, but ever since Yasaman died, I feel more comfortable talking about this sort of thing. Anyway, she sighed, and said "Yeah, it's getting better. It's still hard, but..." She said she couldn't talk to her sister, Shaarah, about it because they would both just start crying. We both agreed that since these people we knew had died (her grandmother and Yasaman), time has started to feel really weird. I don't know how to properly explain it, since it's such a bizarre phenomenon, but it's like things that happened just before Yasaman died and just after... Augh, see, it's hard to explain.

For example, I went to the Waldorf Hotel with Chiara about a week and a half after the funeral. But it feels like it happened months before Yasaman even died, even though I know it didn't because while we were there, I talked about Yasaman and she talked about a friend of her's who had committed suicide a couple months prior. And on February 2nd, I went to Langara for an info session about the Fine Arts program I would later be accepted to, a month before the accident. But now it feels like it happened last year or something. I don't know why, but everything's been thrown out of wack. Zaffy agreed, saying that she had been feeling the same thing.

Hahaha, another silly thing. We'd both already seen the final Harry Potter, and there's this one part in it towards the end where Harry is talking to the ghosts of the people he's cared most about (Lily, James, Sirius and Lupin), and he asks them if it hurts to die, and Sirius replies "Dying? Not at all. Quicker and easier than falling asleep." Now, I'm not going to lie, as soon as I heard this I really had to blink away the cascade of tears that was about to fall. When I told Zaffy about this, who'd also seen the movie, she said that she immediately thought about her grandmother too. We then agreed that while it was nice to be able to talk about these sorts of things to people, we'd better stop because we were both getting misty-eyed.

Ah, life is sad sometimes, but there are such good things in it too. Amanda's wedding is in 5 days, and I'm shipping out to Chilliwack in 2 hours. Expect an earful on the subject when I come back, folks.


  1. Now imagine knowing more than one person. My life is three segments. The first is a childhood, and then my mom passed away. After that enormous rift there's this deep depression that gradually lifts until Autumn. And then there's this now, and I remember seeing her every time I had an interview (completely randomly!), and I don't even remember if I told her I got this job. I saw her on the day of its interview too and I won't see her the next time I have one. So here I am, after two chasms of black. >_>; It is nice to talk to people though. I totally feel you.

  2. better yet, I expect videos from the wedding :) Or drawings :D I miss talking to you :(