Monday, September 19, 2011

Calm Me Down

I'm sitting in my newly rearranged living room, staring at my portrait for Painting class. I don't think I care for it very much. Painting is hard, and boring. Well, not so much hard as annoying. I can't just zip along with it like I want to. And as I'm staring at it, I'm noticing a bunch of things that I messed up on, and now I have to go back and fix it, which means re-mixing all the stupid colours. And the hair's not right, and the dress colour, and it needs more shading. Grr.

Today was just a waste of a day it felt like. I'm used to being awake at 6:30 everyday now, and being done with school at 1 and then having the rest of the day to work on projects. So when I have a day like today, with no school and no work, I feel kind of lost. I only have the one project that I can work on from home, and it's not enough to keep me busy. I slept over at Max's last night, so I got to be with him this morning which was nice, but then he had to go to work and I frittered away my afternoon doing nothing. Hell, I even cleaned my bathroom for lack of something better to do. Forrest Gump was on TV twice in a row, and I'm not going to lie, I watched it both times. I actually just finished watching Serenity, and [SPOILER] I cried like a little baby when Wash died. He was my favourite! Now I just feel tired and hollow. It made me think of Yasaman.

Little things trigger these moods, and then I just want to go to sleep and have nifty dreams to make myself feel better. One thing that does help, though, is the new Mother Mother album. I encourage everybody out there to listen to Mother Mother. All of their albums are great, but this one has a special place in my heart now. It's just so fucking good. So, if you like good music and bands from Vancouver, you should obviously listen to their new album, Eureka, followed by their previous albums. Then hit repeat.

Monday, September 12, 2011

I'd Rather Still Be Asleep

Okay, I totally feel better now. It's just the combination of nighttime, hunger and stress that do these things to me.

I'm just stressed out by this self-portrait that I have to paint. It's our first project for this class, and I'm frustrated that the teacher didn't tell us anything about painting before shoving us out of the proverbial nest. I would have preferred a little instruction first. Who knows, though. It may turn out alright. I've only just started. I'm painting myself as a matryoshka, like my tattoo. She said we could represent ourselves however I want, so I'm making a cartooney matryoshka, and I'm going to to have different size and coloured speech bubbles everywhere, to pay tribute to the cartooning that I will eventually be doing.

Today I have to drag myself out of the house early so I can go to Deserres and buy a portfolio for school, and possibly some other essentials. Something called conté, and maybe a giant sketchbook. Tanis had a great one that she left behind, but it was down in the basement, and as I discovered last night when I found it, it got destroyed when our basement flooded. Great. Anyway, I don't really want to leave early, but what can you do. Actually... fuck it, I'll go tomorrow. I don't want to have to drag it to work with me, and on the bus after. Laziness reigns supreme once again.

I'm too bored to write about how Drawing and Design were, so I'll give you a little breakdown: Drawing is going to be dope, Design is going to be boooring. That is all. Now, listen to this song...

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Let's Just Stop And Think Before I Lose Face

It's like every time I think I've beaten it, it crawls back and gnaws at me some more.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Two Down, Two To Go

It's happened. School has started.

Painting, Ceramics, Design and Drawing. 9 am to 1 pm, Tuesday to Friday.

The getting up early part is not as bad as I thought it would be. I just go to sleep at 10 or 11 instead of 4 in the morning, hahaha. Painting seems like it's going to be a cool class. I'm a little worried because, like I've said, I don't know anything about painting, but I'm looking forward to the challenge. In the first class we just mixed colours and made a colour wheel, and the teacher gave us a bunch of paints and brushes. My first little project is a self-portrait, due in 3 weeks.

Ceramics... is such a bullshit class. First off, I was late for it. Toootally my dad's fault. I told him that I was going to take the bus, but he offered to give me a lift. Now I don't generally turn down free rides, but maybe I should have. I told him that I wanted to be on the road by 8:20. First time in a new class, I like to be early. So obviously we leave at 8:35 and get completely fucked over. Traffic like you wouldn't believe. I was silently raging in the car, and he was making jokes the whole time. I know he was just trying to make me feel better, but goddamnit, I was so angry. I'm going to apologize tonight. Anyway, I get to the school right at 9. No problem, right? Wrong. Big problem, because the Langara website told me that my class was in room A002, which apparently doesn't exist. So I ran all over the place like a maniac, asking strangers, and two professors where it was, and every person took me in the wrong direction. When I finally found what I thought was the class, I hastily walked in... only to slip on the floor and come crashing down, smacking my knee into the cement floor and getting the entire classes attention. So I hobble to the back, knee throbbing, and look at the sheets with the course outline on them that had been handed out. And lo and behold, it said "Introduction to Sculpture". I was in the wrong class. So I whispered to the girl, asking if she knew where fucking Ceramics was. Apparently it was in the classroom right next to this one. So I slipped out, not making eye contact with anyone, and got into Ceramics 10 minutes late. Grabbed a seat in the back, grabbed the worksheet, whatever.

My ceramics teacher is exactly what you would expect a ceramics teacher to be like. Mid-50's, long crazy hair, soft voice, total hippie. But not a fun hippie. One of those hippies that finds the time to slip incorrect social commentary into their sentences. While explaining that we shouldn't leave our belongings in class while no one was there, because we were an "inner city school with all the doors unlocked." Langara is in no way an inner city school, folks. It's in a completely residential area with an enormous golf course behind it. Later on, she reiterates that we should never leave our belongings in class lest our things be stolen, and reinforced this by saying (with a little laugh) "You know. City of thieves." At this point I don't know what the fuck this woman is talking about. Langara isn't even in the actual city part of Vancouver. She said a bunch of other annoying hippie things (organic is her favourite word) and proceeded to be a total bitch to Katherine, a girl I met that class. She thought the class started at 9:30, and got lost on top of that, so she showed up almost an hour late. Every time this teacher talked about class expectations and being late she would stop and look right at Katherine. Then, as we were lining up to receive huge lumps of clay, she told Katherine that she had to go to the back of the line because she'd been late, and that she'd speak to her after class. When I talked to her, I laughed and said that this class was really hard to find, and that's why I was late, and she said "Not really. Didn't you do to the orientation?" 1) I'm not a new student, asshole, I don't have to go to the fucking orientation. 2) They take you on a 15 minute tour on the orientation. They don't personally show you where every classroom in the school is. 3) Even if they had, it wouldn't have helped because the class ended up being in A006, NOT A002, you stupid fuck. So hey, guess who my least favourite teacher is? Anyway, project for this class is to make a pot, due on the 20th.

Tomorrow is Design, and I think the teacher is actually a customer at Famous Foods! I saw him in the classroom for it yesterday. He always looks kind of angry, so I don't know what to expect. I'm just going to go in with zero expectations, because I don't actually know what Design is going to be all about. The class I'm most looking forward to (Drawing) is on Friday.

In other news, I bought an easel for 50% off the regular price (regular it was $100!), so I'm pretty stoked about that. Also, going to sleep early is doing good things for me. I actually eat regularly and everything now. Feels good, man.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Finally Fall

Ahhh, finally. The first day of September. I've been waiting and waiting for this.

Why? For one thing, school starts in 5 days, and I'm getting pretty impatient. I want it to be here NOW. I do pretty much nothing in my spare time, so school will fill that void for me. Another reason I've been excited for September is the weather. It's actually starting to get cooler which I'm so happy about. Dressing for summer has always been a huge pain, because it's just so hot that I can never be comfortable. But in cooler weather I can bundle up and feel just fine. Also, fall fashions are infinitely better than winter ones. In H&M yesterday, with Rum, I saw about a million things that I wanted to buy. Unfortunately I had about $4 in total in my bank account, so I wasn't able to buy anything. But I did figure out what I was going to be for Halloween! I'm going to be a 1940's reporter. Trust me, it's going to be excellent. Fedora, suspenders, fitted pants, white blouse, tie, high heels and vintage glasses. I'll get to do nice, smokey makeup and dark lips, and obviously talk how they used to talk in old movies. Stoooked.

I've been drawing a TON now, which feels... really good. Mostly comics right now, though I am starting to miss just drawing things for myself. I'm sure once school starts though I'll have more incentive to practice.

Meh, another quick update. I just feel guilty that I haven't written much lately, but to be honest, it's because there's not much to say. When I say I've been doing nothing, I meant it.

PS. Found this on Facebook. It's a group called Grief Beyond Belief, which "Grief Beyond Belief is an online support network for people grieving the death of a child, parent, partner, or other loved one -- without belief in a higher power or any form of afterlife." While they're thankful that people were offering their condolences in the form of prayers, or saying things like "They're with God now", they're really just empty words to people who don't believe such things. I thought it was a really great idea, because that's how I feel too. I can appreciate the sentiment when people say those things, but it doesn't mean anything to me.