Le sigh. I am always so busy now.
Midterm week starts tomorrow, and I have a million things to do:
-4 paintings to be completed by tomorrow (Pretty much done with this. Just need to finish up two of them)
-Ceramics project needs to be finished by Wednesday (Constructed, just need to etch design tomorrow)
-Design project needs to be finished (A dumb gray scale. Not too much to do, just making colour swatches and mixing colours. Working on this tomorrow and Wednesday night)
-SIX drawings to be finished for Friday (I am most concerned about these. I think it'll be alright though. I have tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday to do this).
-A redo of a drawing that I messed up a little bit, due Friday (a bunch of other people messed it up too, though, so I'm not too upset)
I was a little frustrated with drawing the other day, actually. The day started off great. We talked and reviewed previous drawings for an hour, and then the teacher sent us outside for 3 hours to draw trees. So me and 4 other people (Sarah, Aidan, Miriam and Dimos) walked over to the golf course and found a bench that perfectly fit all five of us and our drawing boards. We then proceeded to totally goof around for three hours, and had a blast.
The teacher was posting out midterm marks that day, and earlier he had told us that he doesn't give out A's at midterm because he doesn't want it to go to our heads, or some other equally retarded reason. So the highest mark anyone can have right now is a B+. So I go and check my mark, and what do I have? B.
Yes, I realize that I am totally, 100% insane, that a B is still a really good mark if the highest is a B+. I used to make fun of kids like this in high school, who would get all upset that they didn't get an A when they got a B. I had always coasted in high school, because the marks that I got without putting any effort into it were still pretty decent. But I understand now. This is the first time in my life that I've actually worked hard at something, and I want it to show! So why the fuck don't I have a B+? I'm not going to lie to you; I was actually so upset that I almost started crying. I felt like I was going to punch somebody.
Every time we reviewed our drawings in class, mine always got compliments like "fantastic" and "perfect" from the teacher. So WHY. WHY isn't it showing? I know that I'm a complete lunatic, but I need to know why. I think I might go ask him about it, but I don't want him to realize just how much of a crazy person I am. Plus, he won't be back a school until Thursday, so I just have to sit and stew and seethe over it until then.
In other less-deranged news, I'm getting glasses! My long distance vision has been getting worse over the last year, especially now that school started. With work and school, nothing is ever more than a foot away from my face, so I'm always just looking at things that are close up. But when I have to look away from those things and look at things farther away, I get the most intense eye strain, headaches, dizziness and nausea. It's really horrible. So finally I figured that I should go and get my eyes checked, and now I'm getting glasses! Not fancy ones. I think they're kind of cute though. I hope they don't make me look too retarded. They're ready for pick-up today, but since I'm working all day, my mum said she would pick them up and bring them to me. Now I can show them off the all my friends. :B Haha, I'm such a dork.
Okay, this was just supposed to be a break from painting, but now I'm taking too long. Let's see what else is going on... Max's birthday is on the 24th and I STILL don't know what to get him, I'm not sure if I'm going to be anything for Hallowe'en, I'm going to go see West Side Story preformed live on the 26th, I got these 4 totally sick posters the other day (very pretty), Rachel got fired from her job, and I'm going to go visit Tanis and Christina in Florida in December!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Art And, Ugh, Feelings
I watched a movie called Art School Confidential just now, and I was able to finish watching it because it made me feel kind of depressed. Some eager little kid goes to art school and ends up getting totally discouraged from being a great artist like he wants to be, and starts trying to draw and paint according to what other people want. That's so LAME! I know it's just a movie, but I couldn't get over it. I was hoping for a feel good movie about a kid who goes to art school and then turns out alright after, because that's what I'm kind of hoping will happen to me.
I like school, I do, but there are certain things about it that are killing me. Like in painting. I'm not a big fan of painting anyway, but to top it off there's all this touchy-feely bullshit. The other day, our classes was about emotions, and how to paint emotion using colour, style and brushstrokes. Seemed solid enough, but it quickly degenerated into crap. First we had to name as many emotions as we could think of (pro tip: "hunger" is not an emotion, classmates) and then we had to pick one and paint the arrangement that the teacher had set up in the middle of the class according to that emotion. This ended up being a lot harder than I thought it would be and after two in class attempts, I decided to scrap them and try again at home. Just came up with a really great idea for that, actually. Anyway, it's stupid. When we were critiquing our self-portraits in class, people were saying the dumbest things. To quote one girl, "I feel like your painting is the cover of a book, and if I opened it I could read the story of your life." I seriously almost lost it in the middle of class. What the fuck?
I'm finding the things like this hard to swallow because, let's all face it, I'm not an emotional person. I never have been, and to be honest, I hope I never am. I don't get sad and think "I'm going to draw my feelings!" Sure, I have sat down with a sketchbook when I'm feeling a little blue, but that's because I enjoy drawing and it makes me feel better, not because I want to vomit up all my feelings on to paper.
I think it's because I'm not an artist in the way that all these other people want to be. I want to be a Kazu Kibuishi and a Lucy Knisely, not a Monet or Picasso.
I like school, I do, but there are certain things about it that are killing me. Like in painting. I'm not a big fan of painting anyway, but to top it off there's all this touchy-feely bullshit. The other day, our classes was about emotions, and how to paint emotion using colour, style and brushstrokes. Seemed solid enough, but it quickly degenerated into crap. First we had to name as many emotions as we could think of (pro tip: "hunger" is not an emotion, classmates) and then we had to pick one and paint the arrangement that the teacher had set up in the middle of the class according to that emotion. This ended up being a lot harder than I thought it would be and after two in class attempts, I decided to scrap them and try again at home. Just came up with a really great idea for that, actually. Anyway, it's stupid. When we were critiquing our self-portraits in class, people were saying the dumbest things. To quote one girl, "I feel like your painting is the cover of a book, and if I opened it I could read the story of your life." I seriously almost lost it in the middle of class. What the fuck?
I'm finding the things like this hard to swallow because, let's all face it, I'm not an emotional person. I never have been, and to be honest, I hope I never am. I don't get sad and think "I'm going to draw my feelings!" Sure, I have sat down with a sketchbook when I'm feeling a little blue, but that's because I enjoy drawing and it makes me feel better, not because I want to vomit up all my feelings on to paper.
I think it's because I'm not an artist in the way that all these other people want to be. I want to be a Kazu Kibuishi and a Lucy Knisely, not a Monet or Picasso.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Oh Yeah
Too busy... to blog...
Sense of guilt... growing stronger...
School eats up all my time now, and I'm too tired to ever write anything anymore. I'm going to try and get better at keeping up with things, though. I have a lot of homework that needs to be done (specifically a number of paintings, which are the bane of my existence), and I recently found an old book I had as a kid that's a sort of How To Make Comics thing. It's really for younger folk, but there are tons of helpful things in it, including career possibilities that you could pursue that would work with comics, a list of reference material and tons of links to websites that could prove most useful. I'm going to start making comics for real soon!
No time to report in about everything else just now. I've got work at 8 am tomorrow morning, which means it's time for bed. Soon though, my children! Soon.
Sense of guilt... growing stronger...
School eats up all my time now, and I'm too tired to ever write anything anymore. I'm going to try and get better at keeping up with things, though. I have a lot of homework that needs to be done (specifically a number of paintings, which are the bane of my existence), and I recently found an old book I had as a kid that's a sort of How To Make Comics thing. It's really for younger folk, but there are tons of helpful things in it, including career possibilities that you could pursue that would work with comics, a list of reference material and tons of links to websites that could prove most useful. I'm going to start making comics for real soon!
No time to report in about everything else just now. I've got work at 8 am tomorrow morning, which means it's time for bed. Soon though, my children! Soon.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Calm Me Down
I'm sitting in my newly rearranged living room, staring at my portrait for Painting class. I don't think I care for it very much. Painting is hard, and boring. Well, not so much hard as annoying. I can't just zip along with it like I want to. And as I'm staring at it, I'm noticing a bunch of things that I messed up on, and now I have to go back and fix it, which means re-mixing all the stupid colours. And the hair's not right, and the dress colour, and it needs more shading. Grr.
Today was just a waste of a day it felt like. I'm used to being awake at 6:30 everyday now, and being done with school at 1 and then having the rest of the day to work on projects. So when I have a day like today, with no school and no work, I feel kind of lost. I only have the one project that I can work on from home, and it's not enough to keep me busy. I slept over at Max's last night, so I got to be with him this morning which was nice, but then he had to go to work and I frittered away my afternoon doing nothing. Hell, I even cleaned my bathroom for lack of something better to do. Forrest Gump was on TV twice in a row, and I'm not going to lie, I watched it both times. I actually just finished watching Serenity, and [SPOILER] I cried like a little baby when Wash died. He was my favourite! Now I just feel tired and hollow. It made me think of Yasaman.
Little things trigger these moods, and then I just want to go to sleep and have nifty dreams to make myself feel better. One thing that does help, though, is the new Mother Mother album. I encourage everybody out there to listen to Mother Mother. All of their albums are great, but this one has a special place in my heart now. It's just so fucking good. So, if you like good music and bands from Vancouver, you should obviously listen to their new album, Eureka, followed by their previous albums. Then hit repeat.
Today was just a waste of a day it felt like. I'm used to being awake at 6:30 everyday now, and being done with school at 1 and then having the rest of the day to work on projects. So when I have a day like today, with no school and no work, I feel kind of lost. I only have the one project that I can work on from home, and it's not enough to keep me busy. I slept over at Max's last night, so I got to be with him this morning which was nice, but then he had to go to work and I frittered away my afternoon doing nothing. Hell, I even cleaned my bathroom for lack of something better to do. Forrest Gump was on TV twice in a row, and I'm not going to lie, I watched it both times. I actually just finished watching Serenity, and [SPOILER] I cried like a little baby when Wash died. He was my favourite! Now I just feel tired and hollow. It made me think of Yasaman.
Little things trigger these moods, and then I just want to go to sleep and have nifty dreams to make myself feel better. One thing that does help, though, is the new Mother Mother album. I encourage everybody out there to listen to Mother Mother. All of their albums are great, but this one has a special place in my heart now. It's just so fucking good. So, if you like good music and bands from Vancouver, you should obviously listen to their new album, Eureka, followed by their previous albums. Then hit repeat.
Monday, September 12, 2011
I'd Rather Still Be Asleep
Okay, I totally feel better now. It's just the combination of nighttime, hunger and stress that do these things to me.
I'm just stressed out by this self-portrait that I have to paint. It's our first project for this class, and I'm frustrated that the teacher didn't tell us anything about painting before shoving us out of the proverbial nest. I would have preferred a little instruction first. Who knows, though. It may turn out alright. I've only just started. I'm painting myself as a matryoshka, like my tattoo. She said we could represent ourselves however I want, so I'm making a cartooney matryoshka, and I'm going to to have different size and coloured speech bubbles everywhere, to pay tribute to the cartooning that I will eventually be doing.
Today I have to drag myself out of the house early so I can go to Deserres and buy a portfolio for school, and possibly some other essentials. Something called conté, and maybe a giant sketchbook. Tanis had a great one that she left behind, but it was down in the basement, and as I discovered last night when I found it, it got destroyed when our basement flooded. Great. Anyway, I don't really want to leave early, but what can you do. Actually... fuck it, I'll go tomorrow. I don't want to have to drag it to work with me, and on the bus after. Laziness reigns supreme once again.
I'm too bored to write about how Drawing and Design were, so I'll give you a little breakdown: Drawing is going to be dope, Design is going to be boooring. That is all. Now, listen to this song...
I'm just stressed out by this self-portrait that I have to paint. It's our first project for this class, and I'm frustrated that the teacher didn't tell us anything about painting before shoving us out of the proverbial nest. I would have preferred a little instruction first. Who knows, though. It may turn out alright. I've only just started. I'm painting myself as a matryoshka, like my tattoo. She said we could represent ourselves however I want, so I'm making a cartooney matryoshka, and I'm going to to have different size and coloured speech bubbles everywhere, to pay tribute to the cartooning that I will eventually be doing.
Today I have to drag myself out of the house early so I can go to Deserres and buy a portfolio for school, and possibly some other essentials. Something called conté, and maybe a giant sketchbook. Tanis had a great one that she left behind, but it was down in the basement, and as I discovered last night when I found it, it got destroyed when our basement flooded. Great. Anyway, I don't really want to leave early, but what can you do. Actually... fuck it, I'll go tomorrow. I don't want to have to drag it to work with me, and on the bus after. Laziness reigns supreme once again.
I'm too bored to write about how Drawing and Design were, so I'll give you a little breakdown: Drawing is going to be dope, Design is going to be boooring. That is all. Now, listen to this song...
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Let's Just Stop And Think Before I Lose Face
It's like every time I think I've beaten it, it crawls back and gnaws at me some more.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Two Down, Two To Go
It's happened. School has started.
Painting, Ceramics, Design and Drawing. 9 am to 1 pm, Tuesday to Friday.
The getting up early part is not as bad as I thought it would be. I just go to sleep at 10 or 11 instead of 4 in the morning, hahaha. Painting seems like it's going to be a cool class. I'm a little worried because, like I've said, I don't know anything about painting, but I'm looking forward to the challenge. In the first class we just mixed colours and made a colour wheel, and the teacher gave us a bunch of paints and brushes. My first little project is a self-portrait, due in 3 weeks.
Ceramics... is such a bullshit class. First off, I was late for it. Toootally my dad's fault. I told him that I was going to take the bus, but he offered to give me a lift. Now I don't generally turn down free rides, but maybe I should have. I told him that I wanted to be on the road by 8:20. First time in a new class, I like to be early. So obviously we leave at 8:35 and get completely fucked over. Traffic like you wouldn't believe. I was silently raging in the car, and he was making jokes the whole time. I know he was just trying to make me feel better, but goddamnit, I was so angry. I'm going to apologize tonight. Anyway, I get to the school right at 9. No problem, right? Wrong. Big problem, because the Langara website told me that my class was in room A002, which apparently doesn't exist. So I ran all over the place like a maniac, asking strangers, and two professors where it was, and every person took me in the wrong direction. When I finally found what I thought was the class, I hastily walked in... only to slip on the floor and come crashing down, smacking my knee into the cement floor and getting the entire classes attention. So I hobble to the back, knee throbbing, and look at the sheets with the course outline on them that had been handed out. And lo and behold, it said "Introduction to Sculpture". I was in the wrong class. So I whispered to the girl, asking if she knew where fucking Ceramics was. Apparently it was in the classroom right next to this one. So I slipped out, not making eye contact with anyone, and got into Ceramics 10 minutes late. Grabbed a seat in the back, grabbed the worksheet, whatever.
My ceramics teacher is exactly what you would expect a ceramics teacher to be like. Mid-50's, long crazy hair, soft voice, total hippie. But not a fun hippie. One of those hippies that finds the time to slip incorrect social commentary into their sentences. While explaining that we shouldn't leave our belongings in class while no one was there, because we were an "inner city school with all the doors unlocked." Langara is in no way an inner city school, folks. It's in a completely residential area with an enormous golf course behind it. Later on, she reiterates that we should never leave our belongings in class lest our things be stolen, and reinforced this by saying (with a little laugh) "You know. City of thieves." At this point I don't know what the fuck this woman is talking about. Langara isn't even in the actual city part of Vancouver. She said a bunch of other annoying hippie things (organic is her favourite word) and proceeded to be a total bitch to Katherine, a girl I met that class. She thought the class started at 9:30, and got lost on top of that, so she showed up almost an hour late. Every time this teacher talked about class expectations and being late she would stop and look right at Katherine. Then, as we were lining up to receive huge lumps of clay, she told Katherine that she had to go to the back of the line because she'd been late, and that she'd speak to her after class. When I talked to her, I laughed and said that this class was really hard to find, and that's why I was late, and she said "Not really. Didn't you do to the orientation?" 1) I'm not a new student, asshole, I don't have to go to the fucking orientation. 2) They take you on a 15 minute tour on the orientation. They don't personally show you where every classroom in the school is. 3) Even if they had, it wouldn't have helped because the class ended up being in A006, NOT A002, you stupid fuck. So hey, guess who my least favourite teacher is? Anyway, project for this class is to make a pot, due on the 20th.
Tomorrow is Design, and I think the teacher is actually a customer at Famous Foods! I saw him in the classroom for it yesterday. He always looks kind of angry, so I don't know what to expect. I'm just going to go in with zero expectations, because I don't actually know what Design is going to be all about. The class I'm most looking forward to (Drawing) is on Friday.
In other news, I bought an easel for 50% off the regular price (regular it was $100!), so I'm pretty stoked about that. Also, going to sleep early is doing good things for me. I actually eat regularly and everything now. Feels good, man.
Painting, Ceramics, Design and Drawing. 9 am to 1 pm, Tuesday to Friday.
The getting up early part is not as bad as I thought it would be. I just go to sleep at 10 or 11 instead of 4 in the morning, hahaha. Painting seems like it's going to be a cool class. I'm a little worried because, like I've said, I don't know anything about painting, but I'm looking forward to the challenge. In the first class we just mixed colours and made a colour wheel, and the teacher gave us a bunch of paints and brushes. My first little project is a self-portrait, due in 3 weeks.
Ceramics... is such a bullshit class. First off, I was late for it. Toootally my dad's fault. I told him that I was going to take the bus, but he offered to give me a lift. Now I don't generally turn down free rides, but maybe I should have. I told him that I wanted to be on the road by 8:20. First time in a new class, I like to be early. So obviously we leave at 8:35 and get completely fucked over. Traffic like you wouldn't believe. I was silently raging in the car, and he was making jokes the whole time. I know he was just trying to make me feel better, but goddamnit, I was so angry. I'm going to apologize tonight. Anyway, I get to the school right at 9. No problem, right? Wrong. Big problem, because the Langara website told me that my class was in room A002, which apparently doesn't exist. So I ran all over the place like a maniac, asking strangers, and two professors where it was, and every person took me in the wrong direction. When I finally found what I thought was the class, I hastily walked in... only to slip on the floor and come crashing down, smacking my knee into the cement floor and getting the entire classes attention. So I hobble to the back, knee throbbing, and look at the sheets with the course outline on them that had been handed out. And lo and behold, it said "Introduction to Sculpture". I was in the wrong class. So I whispered to the girl, asking if she knew where fucking Ceramics was. Apparently it was in the classroom right next to this one. So I slipped out, not making eye contact with anyone, and got into Ceramics 10 minutes late. Grabbed a seat in the back, grabbed the worksheet, whatever.
My ceramics teacher is exactly what you would expect a ceramics teacher to be like. Mid-50's, long crazy hair, soft voice, total hippie. But not a fun hippie. One of those hippies that finds the time to slip incorrect social commentary into their sentences. While explaining that we shouldn't leave our belongings in class while no one was there, because we were an "inner city school with all the doors unlocked." Langara is in no way an inner city school, folks. It's in a completely residential area with an enormous golf course behind it. Later on, she reiterates that we should never leave our belongings in class lest our things be stolen, and reinforced this by saying (with a little laugh) "You know. City of thieves." At this point I don't know what the fuck this woman is talking about. Langara isn't even in the actual city part of Vancouver. She said a bunch of other annoying hippie things (organic is her favourite word) and proceeded to be a total bitch to Katherine, a girl I met that class. She thought the class started at 9:30, and got lost on top of that, so she showed up almost an hour late. Every time this teacher talked about class expectations and being late she would stop and look right at Katherine. Then, as we were lining up to receive huge lumps of clay, she told Katherine that she had to go to the back of the line because she'd been late, and that she'd speak to her after class. When I talked to her, I laughed and said that this class was really hard to find, and that's why I was late, and she said "Not really. Didn't you do to the orientation?" 1) I'm not a new student, asshole, I don't have to go to the fucking orientation. 2) They take you on a 15 minute tour on the orientation. They don't personally show you where every classroom in the school is. 3) Even if they had, it wouldn't have helped because the class ended up being in A006, NOT A002, you stupid fuck. So hey, guess who my least favourite teacher is? Anyway, project for this class is to make a pot, due on the 20th.
Tomorrow is Design, and I think the teacher is actually a customer at Famous Foods! I saw him in the classroom for it yesterday. He always looks kind of angry, so I don't know what to expect. I'm just going to go in with zero expectations, because I don't actually know what Design is going to be all about. The class I'm most looking forward to (Drawing) is on Friday.
In other news, I bought an easel for 50% off the regular price (regular it was $100!), so I'm pretty stoked about that. Also, going to sleep early is doing good things for me. I actually eat regularly and everything now. Feels good, man.
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