Thursday, October 25, 2012

Worrier

I'm a worrier. It's what I do. It's something I've always been good at, even as a child, which is probably really unhealthy, for a child to worry so much. But I was always worrying about something stupid or other. I used to worry a lot about moving. I don't know where the fear came from, but I started having bad dreams about moving away from my house. I wasn't even worried that we would leave the city and move to another one. Just that we would leave our house.

The worrying got greater and greater, especially in highschool, that I would regularly have to fight back panic. I began to worry about everything, chiefly being about being late. To combat this, I would show up everywhere upwards of one hour early, because hey, being early was better than being late.

It got worse and worse and worse... until I met Max. Now, Max is a man who worries about nothing. I'm not kidding. This is not an exaggeration. Max does not worry. I don't think I've ever seen anything phase him. He has an answer for everything, and goes about his life with a very cool demeanor. It's incredibly interesting, and most amazingly, it's started to rub off on me.

It's an awesome feeling, not to worry. I have a midterm tomorrow at 3:30, for History of Western Art II, and I am not worried. The way my teacher teaches is not from the textbook, but from her own notes. You have to take extensive notes while she's talking, which can be a pain, but it's actually pretty useful because everything is in your head then. You were listening to everything she said, and then writing it all down. So I know that I know everything, and I'll be okay. The Lisa of younger years would have been freaked right the fuck out now, but the Lisa that has been influenced by Max is one cool customer.

I don't know where I was going with this, haha, but I want to get into the habit of writing all the time. And hey! My friend Paul started a podcast! It's about all the things that I'm interested in (ie video games, internet stuff, card games, comics, etc), and you should listen to it if you also are interested in those things.

1 comment:

  1. I used to be a worrier too. I had terrible dreams about being late. Like you're headed there, and you almost make it, but then you look and you're actually like 20 minutes away, and as you keep walking, it's actually 40 minutes, and now you're an hour late, and you're STILL not going to make it because it's a 3 hour walk and wtf how did that happen? =P

    I also used to wonder what if my house set on fire and everybody but me died? Or what if I drowned? What if I was kidnapped and nobody ever found me again? I was in tears a lot as a child =P I'm glad I'm a lot better now. I hate to say it, but after my mom died not much could get worse. I'm kind of weird where if the worst happens I deal and get over it but if it's vaguely in the future I pick at it and pick at it and it gets out of hand.

    I'm glad you're better! Me too! Boyfriends are great for that <3

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