Friday, March 11, 2011

La Mariposa

Just cried for the first time over Yas. It was really sudden. I've been watching a Criminal Minds marathon, and there was just one scene where the mother was visiting the grave of her young daughter. I don't even remember what they said, but it just came over me so suddenly. I've thought about Yasman none stop since I heard that she'd died. And it still seems so... unbelievable. In a news article, I read that a passerby who stopped to help said “I could see her finger twitch, that was all.” I don't know if she died at the scene, or in the ambulance, or at the hospital. I don't know. I feel really angry. I guess that Kubler-Ross 5 stages of grief thing is real after all.

Ah. Being sad for too long is physically draining. I just feel tired today. The tears come in waves. And I know, I know, Yasman. I know you would disapprove. Shit, I disapprove. Tears are for pussies. I am not a pussy. You're making it awfully hard to not be one though. And I can practically hear you laughing at me, hahaha.

And life goes on. I have a St. Patrick's Day party to go to on... well, St. Patrick's Day, go figure, and I'm really looking forward to hitting the mall and picking out something pretty to wear. Doing my makeup and getting glam. I'm going to have a drink in memory of Yasman, and let them all know. Let everyone know that Yasman Rahnamay was alive and she was awesome.

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