Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Say Huh?

I just got back from the info session for the Langara Fine Arts program. The woman who appears to be one of the main teachers is a nice, older Scottish woman, and I liked her right off the bat. There were a lot of other people there, but only one or two of them were boys. Max called it a "yam party" I think. I was confused, but he said that a yam party is the opposite of a sausage fest. I've never personally heard vagina's referred to as yams, but I suppose you learn something new every day.

So we were given a whole bunch of multi-coloured papers with pretty much everything we need to know on them, and then listened to the Scottish woman talk for an hour. It sounds like a really interesting program, with cool classes.

And obviously, I'm going to be a big douche about all this.

First off, I was so anxious for the whole hour that I gave myself a worry-headache. This happens when you are so tense and upset that you actually give yourself a headache. I was wringing my hands, biting my lips, scratching myself, you name it. I know. What the fuck is wrong with me? I was literally on the verge of tears at least three times. But why?! What is my problem?

It's mostly because I was experiencing my most crippling problem: my lack of attention span. Seriously, I don't know why this happens, but I can't focus for long on things when people are speaking directly to you. I can listen to 3 straight episodes of Radiolab, but for the life of me, I can't make myself pay attention to important things. It's been a problem since I was about 8. It's awful. I was reminded of all my high school math classes, where I would finally go and ask the teacher for help, only to sit there and not absorb a word as they talked, and then go back and sit at my desk like a useless lump, fighting back tears. I know what you're thinking. Just pay attention! Just listen! But I can't, I don't know why! I do try, really hard.

And I'm worried that this means I'm going to turn my back on writing. I love writing. I love art too, and I love doodling and I would love to make my own comics and graphic novels one day. I just... Ugh, listen to me. I KNOW I can combine the two, and I could write in my spare time. And I want to combine writing and art anyway, so what's the problem? I'm a loser, that's what the problem is.

Ooookay, calming down. This won't be so bad. Sure, the tuition is a hellish $2,800 a semester, but I can do it. The program doesn't start until September, and that's plenty of time to save. I'll have to get student loans anyway, but that's not so bad. This is all going to be okay. I just need to keep calm and carry on.

The program itself does sound cool, though. In the first year, Drawing and Design are the Core Studios, and you have to take one each term. Then there's Painting and Printmaking (the 2D studios), and Sculpture and Ceramics (the 3D studios), and I have to take one of those 4 each term. Then in second year, I... Okay, I'm just going to write down what's on the piece of paper, because I don't really know how to explain it:

ALL SECOND YEAR STUDIOS ARE ELECTIVES: STUDENTS MUST COMPLETE A MINIMUM OF 3 STUDIOS EACH TERM (PLUS 2 ACADEMIC SUPPORT COURSES), OR 4 STUDIOS EACH TERM (PLUS 1 ACADEMIC SUPPORT COURSE) IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THE FINE ARTS DIPLOMA.
Say huh?

Anyway, it's getting late and I'm trying to figure out this application questionnaire, so I bid you all adieu. But before I go, I want to say thank you to all my friends. I forget that you're out there most of them time, but you've never been anything but supportive to me. Thanks.

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