Sunday, May 23, 2010

Dreams

I don't have normal dreams.

I remember my sister once told me that her dreams are very much like her waking life. She goes to school, she goes on Facebook, etc. She once had a dream where all she did was tie her shoes.

My dreams are the opposite of ordinary. Even my nightmares are more horrific. In my most horrible one, there was a fighting contest. I was among the contestants, and we were told to win by whatever means. There were hundreds of opponents. Halfway through some ass-kicking, someone hit me in the back with a pole. I was stunned for only a second, and then I killed them, took their pole, and proceeded to kill everyone else who challenged me. It was like, hundreds of bodies all fighting and struggling to survive at once. Finally, I was among the 10 winners. We were told we had won, but the people we had been blindly killing had been our loved ones, and that we could search for their remains if we wanted. The "remains" were kept in a colossal construction dumpster. The other winners lept in and started digging through piles and piles of gore, and like... Jesus, I don't know. The pulpy remains of human beings. That's what it was. Just human pulp.

I freaked the fuck out, and kept walking backwards, until suddenly I was in the hallway of my house, and had backed into my parents room. They were laying against the wall, dead, their skin completely blue and their eyes wide. I started crying and talking to them, and they responded, but they were talking to me in my mind. Reassuring me. Suddenly, my mother raised a stiff arm and pointed at the door. "Close it. Hurry." she told me. I jumped up, and just as I was closing the door, I saw the corpse of a child come out of my room and start walking towards me. I was so terrified I woke up.

In another nightmare, I realized I was dreaming, and I just needed to wake myself up to escape. I had a pole (possibly the long handle of a vacuum) and I began beating myself in the head with it, screaming "WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP!" I beat it so hard that I actually ruptured my skull, and bashed my own head in. I collapsed and lay there, smiling victoriously, as I could feel my brain sliding out onto the floor and a draft tickled the inside of my now empty skull.

Yup.

My dreams are always fantastic, but constantly bordering on nightmare. Somewhere, zombies lurk. Strangers chase me, weird celebrations, storybook characters. I have been repeatedly shot in the head. My dream from last night... I wish I could remember it. Definitely one of my stranger ones. I wish I could remember it in more detail. There were small, dark rooms, and stairs. Crazy creatures, humanoid but... I don't know what they were. Fighting an enemy and portals. Long, dusty roads. A group of friends. A knife. Fuck, I wish I could remember more. I woke up a few times, but went right back into the same dream every time.

I am always falling in love in my dreams. No offense, Max, but it constantly happens. A mysterious photographer, a young man with unruly white hair and red markings on his face. Worse yet, I seem to have a thing for the bad guy. Recently, I dreamed of a bad faerie. He had kidnapped a small boy, and I met him, demanding the boy. He toyed with me, and I was slightly attracted to him. Finally, I was sick of playing games, and I wrote him a letter, saying that if I didn't get the little boy back, I would seriously fuck him up. I received a letter back that said:

"You're cute when you think nothing bad is going to happen to you."

I was scared, yet a thrill ran through me.

Tonight, I hope they come to me again. The dreams that are stranger than anyone else's I know. I want to feel that thrill, fear, unknowing. That wonder and delight. Dreams, please come again.

Peace it.

1 comment:

  1. I don't know what I dreamed last night, but I woke up at 9:30 in the morning, decided I didn't want to get up yet, and had a pretty vivid dream before I woke up again at 10:30. You were in it, it was your birthday party or something. We were in a huge, dark room, and you had rented all this awesome circus equipment or something, like fly wires and this huge wheel that you could walk on while the middle was on fire. You were super good at using all of it; you flew around a bit and just kind of magically ended up everywhere and were awesome. I remember being scared that you were going to fall, but you didn't. Then you made a little speech (but I couldn't hear or don't remember what it was you said) and then you came and found me and made me get on the fly wires, the song "There She Goes" covered by Sixpence None The Richer started to play, and I did some lyrical and awesome and pretty fly wire action. Then it ended, you helped me down, and we both walked out toward the audience together, lol.
    I don't remember what was before that. It had something to do with buses and trains, it was probably some dream where I was in Vancouver (or recognised it as Vancouver, even though it probably looked nothing like it--that happens a lot) and was having trouble getting where I wanted to go. That happens a lot too. It should be so easy and simple to do something, and in the dream I make a mess of it.

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